Ash1066's Blog

The man who wood be king…

ash1066 — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 19:13:20 +0000

Since it has been some months since my last tweet, I thought just like Osama Bin Laddin that I’d pop up at the most inconvenient moment to spout a few words… It was very hard for me to come up with some memorable royal movie moments to celebrate the royal hitch, but here goes, the king and dai, the princess dairies oh and that one with the fat bloke who used to be in Roseanne I fink it woz called king ralf??? As someone who had studied under the decendant of a true knight of the realm i wish them all the best, I hope the big day goes to plan and that elton does not push the organist off his key board to give a rendition of candle in the wind. I wood love to see the embarrassing dad dance and the cutting of the cake, but alas you can’t have it all. It is good to see that true romance is still alive and well in the world, and I bet the dress will be WHITE… wink wink, know wot i mean, no wot i mean…

Typical for an Arab to bring a camel to a tank fight…

ash1066 — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 20:23:11 +0000

This is wot happens when you either fuck camels or smoke camel shit, you end hup going DO-LAL-EEE. Apparently there are no Mcdonalds in Harab countries, so they have to drink ‘Chamel Shakes’.

Rally Aowel…

ash1066 — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 16:20:27 +0000

In the words of Wales’ greatest ever rugby player, ‘the owls kept me awake last knight.’ Can squidggy nose get her hands on some riding gear? The pope says not to wear a rubber on your willy so I’ll become an Irish Jew.

The krout cardinal claimed to have gout..

ash1066 — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 16:09:52 +0000

Wasn’t that what Henry the 8th suffered from. Ill Papa looked to have bean enjoying himself, must be wind?

Mr. Poof rides again…

ash1066 — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 16:04:27 +0000

I thought that it was a bit harsh that German Cardinal claiming that Britain was a third world count-tree. He still has not forgiven the Spitfires for blowing up his parent’s house. What I reallyneed is the daughter of an Anglo-saxon prodestant.

Nice blazer….

ash1066 — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 16:56:03 +0000

Did not know you were a member of a male voice choir squidggy nose. Am I mistaken or was the crest on your breast the heraldry of St. Janus the obscure?

10.90909 …

ash1066 — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 15:30:35 +0000

£60.00 suit. In the words of Wales’ best ever rugby player, as a talent young boy I had two choices, the human millipede clube, or the firewood and berry brigade. To Polly the hedgehog, how’s the mother calf, fancy a Thomas Crown but I prefer a liverpool yank to be honest. Yet I just love the hale and pace coz i am a rear ender, turkish. rig stick. Thank you Suzi, I luv the blondes especially when they ave big boobies even more so wen they like dressing upo as school girls. I thoroughly enjoyed daybreak today, Alex LLAREGGUB is not even Baphomet on a budget.

A Week constitution…

ash1066 — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 16:18:41 +0000

I do not know what the fuss is about I ran 3/4 of the way up Constitutional Hill, once I even scaled it with a semi tree trunk, something like Arnie at the start of the flick Commando (except my log wasn’t made of pol-us-tire-reen.

Yr delio mawr…

ash1066 — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 16:12:18 +0000

Woz most pleased indeed to see Polly the hedgehog last evening, the lacey blouse looked pucker though not as nice as the school girl outfit. It was one of those ‘uurrrgggh’ moments. loJ and Eton Mess Puddings. Now what are you going to learn at work today, you’d learn a hole lot more with me wouldn’t you. Though aging and looks deminishing still most delightful. Now I am not a gambler and not a surgery yet I’d wager her other half is crippled from the waist down, for I wood be. My other half rides a mob HEAD now and delivers pizza, it is not great but it helps pay the bill.Like B ‘TINMAN’ but with sculptured legs and rounded bosoms.

In the words of Wales’ greatest ever rugby player, ‘There were fields of corn and snow for as far as the eye could see.’ He was ahead of his time isn’t it if he were around today he and gareth eye-oh-toller wood have made a great couple but who would wear the pinney. Did Gav like his little swim? A subsonn too hot? In the words of Wales’ greatest ever rugby player ‘Sink or swim’. That’s tghe Welsh isn’t it.

P.S. I thoroughly enjoyed Day break today makes me day go with a bang just like Dower Eggbert’s coffee.

Mix and Match 2.99…

ash1066 — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 14:53:10 +0000

Or in the words of Wales’ greatest ever entrepreneur, I’ll throw these two together and see which one comes out on top? Squidgy nose looked quite nice this day, slightly darker than usual, sunbed, face cream, or just barbeque sauce?

In the words of Wales best ever rugby player, ‘I was a big boy and a complete man, from the neck down’.